Carried Away (A Wedding Story), Part 2

DISCLAIMER:  The following story involves an activity that some folks might consider traditional or commonplace.  It isn’t my intention to belittle the activity, merely to describe my unexpected involvement in it.

In my memory a lot of my wedding reception is shrouded in a fog of non-specific happiness.  I was so thankful for my new wife that, to use the well tested expression, I spent the time floating on a cloud.  My figurative feet didn’t touch the figurative ground for literal hours.  Ironically, one of the few parts that I remember clearly was when my actual feet didn’t touch the actual ground: I spent some time floating on ninjas.

Carried Away (A Wedding Story), Part 1

At my wedding reception, I was surprised when a group of ninjas appeared and lifted me off of the ground.  I’m not even exaggerating; that actually happened.  As it turns out, ninjas really do attack in unexpected places at unexpected times.  Clearly, my wedding reception was an exciting affair, even more than my wife had wanted, which is saying quite a bit.

She comes from a robust line of veteran celebrators.  They plan extravagant parties for

Happy Anniversary, Dear Wife

On the morning of this day a few years ago, I was nervously waiting in a closet.  I hadn’t slept well the night before, partially from nerves and partially from the fact that my brothers and I had gone out to catch a late showing of whatever Mummy movie was playing at the time.  (If that doesn’t seem like the obvious thing to do, I pity you a little bit.)

I kept fidgeting uncomfortably in my pinstripe suit, a bit embarrassed to be wearing a suit

The Wedding Wish (A Love Story)

Here’s an obvious statement:  my wife and I are different.  We have such elegant and extreme differences though, that the basic declaration doesn’t do it justice.  For example, in all the years that we’ve been together, we’ve never yet bought a clock because we can’t agree on one.  If it hadn’t been for a providential accident, we might not have silverware,