Actual Conversations V

My family has engaged in countless silly conversations since the last installment of this series–we’re silly people–but most have vanished into the proverbial mists of time.  Here are some of the ones that I had the chance to save:

[While my wife was organizing her desk.]

Wife:  “I can’t find my other portfolio.”
Me:  (Jokingly) “I ate it.”
Wife: “But it’s blue.”
Me:  “I don’t understand, do you think I would be less inclined to eat a portfolio that’s blue?”


[While playing a computer game together, one which involves rearranging jumbled letters.]

Me:  (Providing one of the answers) “Budges.”
Wife:  (Types quickly)
Me:  (Reading what she typed) “Or ‘Gube,’ I suppose.  Maybe I should type now.”


[While changing our daughters diaper and trying to get her dressed in the morning.]

Wife:  “Do you think we should build a garage?”
Me:  “I don’t know.”
Wife:  “Do you want to try to get me pregnant this weekend?”
Me:  “This is an awful lot coming at me for one morning.”


[While trying to imagine a name for a Spanish church.]

Me:  (Hesitatingly)  “Los…dos… baños.”
Wife:  “The two bathrooms?”
Me:  “I had six weeks of Spanish, twenty years ago.  I only know so many words.”
Wife:  “It’s not very Christian sounding.”
Me: “Los dos baños de Cristo?”  (The two bathrooms of Christ)


[After a busy morning of errands and chores.]

Wife:  (to daughter)  “Okay, Mommy’s just going to go back the hall and take a nap for a little while.”
Daughter:  (excitedly)  “Nap too!  Nap too!”

[They go back the hall.  A moment later my daughter returns and grabs two large plastic buckets and one of her blocks.]

Me:  (to Wife) “I don’t think she understands napping the same way we do.”


[While discussing the previous evening, during which I had stayed up late working, then woken my wife to ask her input.  She had fallen back to sleep immediately.]

Me:  “I got my post up”
Wife:  “I’m sorry I wasn’t helpful.”
Me:  “You don’t need to be sorry.  I woke you up at midnight, then asked you to read something while you were lying in the dark.”
Wife:  “Yeah, that’s a recipe for disaster.”
Me:  “And unhelpful comments.”


[While my toddler watched an episode of Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood and I tried to work beside her.]

Daughter:  “Mr. Rogers can’t blow up those balloons?”
Me:  “That’s right.”
Daughter:  “Mr. Rogers need someone help him blow up those balloons?”
Me:  “Yup.”
Daughter:  “Mr. Rogers gonna go up in the big balloon?”
Me:  “Uh-huh.”

[She climbs on my lap, puts her face an inch in front of mine, and holds my face there with her two tiny hands.]

Daughter:  (Emphatically)  “Daddy, you need to talk to me.”


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5 thoughts on “Actual Conversations V

  1. I think I injured myself when I got to this bit:

    “[They go back the hall. A moment later my daughter returns and grabs two large plastic buckets and one of her blocks.]

    Me: (to Wife) “I don’t think she understands napping the same way we do.””

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