Actual Conversations IV

I enjoy words, perhaps more than is usual or healthy.  I like hearing them; I like knowing them; I like using them.  (That last should probably be obvious by now, or I’m not doing it correctly.)

Naturally, given that I’m the one involved, my enjoyment promotes an embarrassing number of odd activities.  For example, if I’m watching a video and can’t understand a word in a mumbled line of dialogue, I’ll rewind and listen to the line repeatedly until I figure out what’s being said, even if I know that the word isn’t important to the scene or story.  Similarly, I read every sign that I see, frequently with greater care than the people who made them.  I’m even creating a dictionary-style page for this site called “Words Which Should Exist.”

The first word I added to it was “glossaphile,” my word for people like me.  Some (but probably very few) might object that a word already exists for people who love words: “linguaphile.”  Being one though, I can’t help but notice that “lingua” is from Latin while “phile” is from Greek.  I’ve merely corrected this oversight because I’m helpful and only slightly ridiculous.  What can I say?  I enjoy words.

Meanwhile my wife uses words because they’re marginally more efficient than trying to cudgel the world into understanding.  My daughter uses them as sound effects while she cudgels the world for sport.  I record all of it because I cherish every syllable.  (As an aside let me add that I’ve discovered a particular appreciation for the word “cudgel.”)

Here I share more of these syllables with you, which is perhaps also one of my odd activities.

[While at the drive-through window of a restaurant, paying with one dollar bills that I’ve pulled from my wife’s rather girly wallet.]

Me:  (Crumbles each bill individually.)
Restaurant Employee:  “Do you always do that?”
Me:  “It keeps new bills from sticking together because the creases won’t align.”
Restaurant Employee:  (Nods and walks away.)
Wife:  “You might look a little crazy now.”
Me:  “Why?  I’m just the guy with the pink purse who’s crumpling up singles.”

[While discussing whether I should add the following drawing and caption to a post, one in which I briefly mention monkeys.]


Wife:  “I don’t think people will understand it.  No one else is as offended by monkeys as you are.”

[After repeatedly watching one of my daughter’s favorite episodes of her favorite television show.]

Me: “It occurs to me that this episode is an allegory for proper relationships before marriage.”
Wife: “Yeah?  I don’t really watch them.”
Me:  “Oh.  I do.  A lot.”

[While driving to the market to do some grocery shopping.]

Wife: “I’m ready to do some extreme couponing.”
Me:  “Did you know that the word ‘coupon’ comes from the French verb ‘couper?’  It’s strange that Americans took a verb, turned it into a noun, then turned that noun into a verb again: ‘to coupon.’  Even better, they turned that verb into a gerund, which is another noun!  It’s a noun from a verb from a noun from a verb!  I should do a post about that.”
Wife:  (Remains conspicuously silent.)
Me:  “Is this another example of how other people don’t think grammar is exciting?”

[While talking with a guest after noticing that my wife ignored one of my spontaneous arcane monologues.]

Me:  “Every time I start a conversation by mentioning theoretical physics, my wife stops paying attention.”  (Notices a strange look from his wife, so continues sheepishly.)  “Is that not true?”
Wife:  “Sure it is, although I don’t know what theoretical physics has to do with it.”

[While taking food out of our freezer so that I can start preparing dinner.]

Daughter: (Sees a box of ice pops in the freezer and begins pointing emphatically.)
Me:  “You can have an ice pop after Mommy gets home.”

[Several hours pass.]

Wife:  (Having only just arrived home from work, opens the door to come inside.)
Daughter:  (Visibly shaking with the effort to project loudly.)  “ICE POP!


6 thoughts on “Actual Conversations IV

  1. I have a feeling you would enjoy this video as much as I did. It’s a speech, but I put it on my playlist because it’s just that wonderful to listen to.

    Incidentally, I would’ve been happy to read that couponing post. That’s truly cool. ^u^

    Also incidentally, I’ve nominated you for a blog award, hereabouts:
    I hope such things delight rather than annoy you. They’re kind of the supportive version of a chain letter, so I can see it going either way.

  2. I find grammar exciting. Words, sentences, nouns, verbs, adverbs, paragraphs, apostrophes, even acronyms for Pete’s sake. So I totally get this. I understand. You are not alone. I promise. You are not alone.

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