Actual Conversations II

Here are some more snippets from my wife’s and my actual life.  As an added bonus, our daughter also makes an appearance.  Remember, we actually love each other.

[While editing one of my blog posts]
Wife:  “Maybe you should use a word people will know.”
Me:  “I know that word.”
Wife:  “Normal people.”

[While discussing why my wife is happy she married me]
Wife:  “You’re cuddly, warm, comforting….”
Me:  “You can get all of those things by putting a pillow in the microwave.”

[While eating dinner, when I point out a toy on the wall of the restaurant]
Me: “Hey, it’s the Millennium Falcon.”
Wife:  “What’s the Millennium Falcon?”
Me: (Shocked silence)
Wife:  “That grey thing isn’t the Starship Enterprise?”

[While recovering from an early morning disturbance which woke both of us]
Wife:  “I want to fall asleep.  Can you talk to me for a little while?”
Me: “Ouch.”
Wife:  (Undisturbed.)  “You’re soothing.”

[While discussing our daughter’s meals and snacks]
Wife:  “Did she have any vegetables today?”
Me:  “What counts?”
Wife: “So no, then.”

[While trying to get our toddler daughter, who had become very attached to a certain Sesame Street video, to eat four more bites of her dinner.]
Me:  “Here’s bite number one.”
Daughter:  “Uhn!”
Me:  (Proudly) “That’s right.  What number comes after one?”
Daughter:  (Also proudly) “Oo!”
Me:  (Excitedly) “Two, that’s right!  What comes after two?”
Daughter: (Also excitedly) “Ee!”
Me:  (About to burst) “Three!  What comes after three?”
Daughter:  (Also about to burst) “Elmo!”

[While we and a mutual friend prepared my wife’s classroom for the start of school]
Wife:  (To me) “Honey, which of these borders matches best?”  (Aside to our friend)  “He calls himself a color genius.”
Me:  “I am a color genius.  I am not deaf.”

[While redressing our daughter after her first outfit didn’t pass muster]
Me: “I didn’t know what to put with those cute owl pants.”
Wife: “You just need to pick anything that goes with leggings.”
Me:  “I’m a man, dear.  I don’t have a special clothing category for things that can be worn with leggings.”

[While finishing this post]
Me: “Can you think of any funny conversations we’ve had?”
Wife:  “Sure, when was the last time I called you stupid?”


4 thoughts on “Actual Conversations II

  1. I truly love your blog! It tickles my funny bone because – it is too real. I wanted to pass on a recent acknowledgement of my own: there was no place else to put it – so stick it where you will!

    Hi! In the tradition of social media, I have just nominated you as next in line for the “Inspiring Blog Award” and “One Lovely Blog Award.” As such customs prevail, and should you choose to do so, you can pass this honor on by following these steps.
    1. Link back to the person who nominated you (
    2. Post the award image to your page
    3. Tell seven facts about yourself
    4. Nominate 15 other blogs
    5. Let them know they are nominated
    Here is the post nominating your blog. (
    I honestly don’t know if something that amounts to an electronic chain letter is acceptable; however considering how many back-links and thank yous get spread around; well, it seemed worth participating. I also really, really like the person who passed it to me.

  2. I love the ‘can you talk to me for a while’ but. Classic.
    Well, your relationship with your wife sounds far more romantic than mine – if a day goes past when Mr Becky Says Things does call me a twonk or a bumface or flick me in the face, it’s been a good day. (P.S. We love each other dearly, I am not being domestically abused. Actually…)

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